moving on up.

Since Duke has officially kicked me out, I think Durham is trying to do the same thing. As such, I’m pretending to move out. Delaying the inevitable is fun, but more fun when I profess to “trying to move out as sustainably as possible.” This idea not only makes me feel like my slow move-out is, in fact, not just sheer laziness, but also has the addedd benefit of making others feel bad about themselves. This may or may not be why all of my friends have been leaving me as quickly as possible. But honestly, they were too short for me anyways.

This idea was inspired the other day by the lovely few who are currently dumpster diving in the Belmont right outside my porch. Here i am, roommate-less and alone, trying to crush a porch sit session, and I hear someone exclaim, “Yo! I just found a brand new ironing board!” My only thought: well, at least it’s being recycled.

Thus spawned my master plan. I shall try to move out as sustainably as possible. My first step: taking out the recycling that has been building up in our apartment for the past year and a half. I got the great idea one day a year ago to make recycling bins, separated for aluminum, glass, and plastic. The only failure of this plan? The fact that I never ever once emptied them, despite the Roesing-monsters frequent reminders (she’s my now-gone for-the-past-four-years bff and roommate). Don’t let the moniker fool you, I love the girl. 

Second step: giving away the toys I have accrued. Seriously, I am not a 7 year old, but I’ve got some good ones. I was sick earlier this year, and in true form, my friends knew just what I would like best. This includes but is not limited to: Mall Madness, GeoSafari (a talking globe), The Office Board Game, a stuffed blue elephant, over 300 crayons, and some giant Dinosaur puppet heads that make “Rooooaaar” noises. I am currently trying to find a place for these toys such that they will make it into the hands of a deserving (or not deserving, whatever) 8 year old. However, it seems toys are only collected circa normal toy-collecting times, aka December, so I’m out of luck. I’m considering driving around Durham until I spot an unsuspecting kid’s house with a tricycle or two in the front yard, dropping the loot, and ding-dong-ditching my way out of there. May work? probably will fail. Other options: Salvation Army, Durham Rescue Mission.

Step three currently involves turning off the A/C and taking a nap, so I’ll let you know how that goes. And yes, Emily, I turned off all of the lights this time.

-LAR